1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."2. "My fiance and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
3. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."
Note: "Swimming costume" is the British term for swimsuit. I love the fact that it evokes some sort of elaborate getup. Although I suppose swimsuit does sound oddly formal. And what about swimming trunks? On that note:
5. "A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel 'inadequate.' "
6. "The beach was too sandy."
7. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
8. "We bought Ray-Ban sunglasses for five Euros (about $3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."
9. "No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."
10. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It only took the Americans three hours to get home."
11. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
12. "I was bitten by a mosquito -- no-one said they could bite."